TECHNICALLY, IT’S 4 WAYS. BECAUSE THAT’S JUST WHO WE ARE.
We love things that come in threes — like summer outfits under $200 and ideas for wearing a robe outside the bedroom.
Have I successfully manipulated you to get a pair yet?
Good! Great! Grand! Now here are three ways to wear your borderlineorthotics.
Way 1: As though you are from an ad that appears to have originally surfaced in the 1970s
Tome top, Derek Lam shorts, Gucci sweater, Garrett Leight sunglasses
The key ingredients here are a pair of short-shorts that sort of flare out at the sides, but are high waist and nicely complement any version of button down of your choosing. While the left figure chose gingham, my money’s on stripes because that’s just the kind of person I aspire to be, you know? The sweater isn’t optional, by the way, and this is true irrelevant of climatic circumstance.
Way 2: Live like you’ve never seen that episode of Sex and the Citywhere Carrie meanders about in a tea dress and Scholl’s
Aquilano Rimondi top, Chloé track pants
Even though you, too, have a stoop, you are not sacrificing rainbow track pants to wear a sorry-ass tea dress, am I right? Never mind the implication of a sequined tank top (the implication being that you are part-amphibian) or a hair-tie that makes you look like you’re 15 again. The best part of the whole enchilada is that your outfit says nothing and everything at once. You can practically do anything, include scrub the floor of a pool,or attend a formal gathering. That’s so cool of you.
Way 3: Like you’re high-tailing it da fuq out of town
Peter Pilotto dress, Aquazzura hat — another straw hat option here, Fendi sunglasses
I fiercely and sincerely maintain that you can dress to live the state of mind you aspire toward. That might mean crepes atop a Swiss Alp on Christmas, or beach-bound with sand trailing behind your every move, but as someone who has marked the anticipatory period of a summer weekend as the most glorious time of the week, for me the best state of mind is the one that finds you running a last minute errand at 12 p.m. on a Friday just before boarding a car that will take you somewhere, anywhere, away for the weekend, and the Scholl’s always come.
!Bonus! Way 4: Like you are an insane person.